Would You Like Fries With That Order?

I had the pleasurable opportunity at the James V. Allred Unit to work the Burger King Gate, I mean the O-M Gate, the other day. The O-M gate sits in front of the ODR (Officer's Dining Room). Apparently it used to be called the Officer's Mess, hence the name O-M Gate. I think the former name was more appropriate!

Anyway, I could hardly get my work done for taking breakfast orders on the phone.

Ring-Ring: "This is Officer BigBooty, I'm sending an SSI (Support Services Inmate - Translation: Janitor) over there. Can you fix me and Sgt. SharpShank up with four egg and cheese sandwiches and two coffees"?

Ring-Ring: This is Officer Obnoxious, can you get us a pitcher of juice? I'm sending an SSI over there to get it".

Ring-Ring: "Hey, what are they serving today in the ODR?

Ring-Ring: "Hey, look off inside the ODR and see if Colonel Crotchpheasant is in there."

Ring Ring: "This is SSI Hall J. Porter. I'm sending the desk boss over there to get me a johnny or two. Make 'em big and be quick about it.

Can you say "busy signal"?

Maynard Hawkins